


Stay with me

by SamiBellarke



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hopeful Ending, I REALLY LOVE THESE TWO OK
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-19
Updated: 2015-03-19
Packaged: 2018-03-18 15:42:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3574887
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamiBellarke/pseuds/SamiBellarke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke has no reason to stay behind at Camp Jaha. She needs to leave, she needs out. Nothing is holding her back...except him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay with me

**Author's Note:**

> I swear I wrote this before the finale aired. It just felt wrong for Clarke to live happily ever after in Camp Jaha. However, when she actually left on the show, I REGRETTED EVERY THOUGHT I HAD OF HER LEAVING. COME BACK CLARKE

"Take care of them...and Bellamy...I'm sorry" Clarke put her pen down before she continued to write. "This is not a letter...this is a note" she tells herself. If she were to write everything she needed to say to him, it would take her ages to get through it all. Time was not something she had, she needed to leave, needed to get out. Being at Camp Jaha had become hell rather than home for Clarke. Being in control, but not completely in control, hearing the remainder of the 47 cry out in the middle of the night, seeing the look her mother gives her...as if she's a stranger, it became too much. It became unbearable. Clarke needed out.

Clarke looks at her surroundings, making sure she hasn't left anything behind before grabbing her pack and silently creeping through the Ark. As soon as she gets outside, she scans for the Guard, spotting a few near the main entrance. She walks along the walls, staying in the shadows. When she reaches the back of the camp, she reaches in her pocket and takes out the controller to the electric fence. Stealing it from the council chambers had not been easy, but she managed.

"This better work" she mutters to herself. Clarke took a deep breath before pressing down on the button. She grabbed a nearby stick and threw it at the fence. Nothing happened. She smiles to herself before throwing her bag between the wires and then pushed herself through.

\- - -

Bellamy stopped sleeping for the most part, throughout the day, he crashed into a deep slumber from pure exhaustion but he could never sleep soundlessly through the night. The nightmares came and tore through his body, pure terror coursing through his veins, so he stopped sleeping. He wasn't alert enough to be on guard at night but wasn't tired enough to get a quick nap. So he walked, enjoyed the cold air against his skin reminding him that he is very much alive. As he turned toward the back of the Ark he hears a slight buzz by the fence and looks around. He sees a figure throw a bag over the fence and climb through. He quickly tries to catch up, noticing the controller on the floor. He makes sure the fence is still powered off before following the person.

As he gets closer, he begins to recognize the person. Instantly he begins to move faster, bile rising up in his throat. He hears himself call out her name but his own voice sounds distant, muffled. "what's she doing, where is she going, _what is she doing_?" he thinks frantically.

Clarke whips her head around at the sound of her name, her weapon already in hand, ready to fire. Her outstretched arm drops as she realizes who it is.

"Bellamy" she stammers, completely off guard "what are you doing here?" She feels out of breath as she sees pure confusion cover his face. His brow is furrowed and his hands hang limply at his sides. Seeing him here, having her being caught in the act by _him_ made her skin burn.

"What am _I_ \- _what am I doing_ , Clarke...what are _you_ doing?" His voice is low, but not angry..."Not yet" Clarke thinks bitterly.

"Bellamy I-" her voice falters, she has no idea what to say to him, not when he's looking at her like that, like he knows what's coming but doesn't want to believe it. She feels her throat close up and swallows back her tears before continuing.

"You need to understand Bellamy...I can't do this anymore, I can't be here anymore. Its too much... I can't move on from the choices I've made if I'm constantly being told that what I did was wrong." She tries to see if he is getting any of what she is saying but he continues to stare at her, waiting for a real explanation.

"I know what I did was wrong but...our people would not be safe if it weren't for those choices. But Bellamy I can't build my life here...it doesn't feel right."

She looks at him expectantly waiting for something, waiting for him to blow up, to raise his voice to question her,to do anything, anything either than looking at her with hurt clear in his eyes. Because she can deal with angry Bellamy, she can yell at him and let the argument dull the pain, but she can't deal with this Bellamy, the one who wears his emotions on his face like an open book.

Bellamy feels his heart pounding, his entire body tense, a storm slowly building within him. However time seemed to slow down in the worst way possible as the words leave her mouth, his body numb. "So you were just gonna leave...in the middle of the night, without saying goodbye to anyone?"

She hears the accusation in his voice and feels the need to defend herself. "Bellamy, I needed to do this alo-"

"-Without saying goodbye to _me_?" he clarifies. His voice trembles as it drops to a whisper and Clarke's vision goes blurry as tears form in her eyes. This time its not an accusation. She hears the betrayal in his voice, and guilt spreads like a wildfire within her.

"I left you a note Bellamy..." she tries, realizing how useless she sounded. He clenches his jaw and she sees the anger finally rise up in him.

"Oh! Oh, ok you left a note, Right, right, you left me a note!" He says in mock enthusiasm, drawing out each word as his voice rises. "That clearly makes all of this better right! You decide to leave all of us without a single word but hey! You. Left. A. Note." he spits out each word, as if he needed Clarke to hear how it sounded.

She breaks his gaze, unable to meet his hard look. He runs a hand through his hair, and tries to breathe but he can't. Clarke was gonna leave and if he hadn't by chance noticed the fence go off he would've never seen her again, and all that he would have is a bloody note.

"Clarke, how can you do this? Everything that you did was for our people, not the grounders, not the Arkers, but for the hundred...Clarke, _our_ people." He tries to meet her eyes but she keeps evading them, so he steps closer to her.

She wants to cry, wants to lean on him and stay in his warmth until all her problems disappear. But she can't, that's something the old Clarke would've done, she would look up at the stars and wish on them, look at a boy she hardly knew and put all her trust in him. She knew Bellamy was _not_ Finn, but she couldn't risk being weak. "I can't do it anymore...lead, I just can't do that. Lexa told me its what I was born to do but...I'm tired Bellamy. I'm so tired and I can't do it anymore."

He shakes his head and reaches a hand toward her. "You're not in this alone, Clarke." He says her name like its a prayer. "you have m-"

Clarke cuts Bellamy off, words falling out of her mouth uncontrollably."I sacrificed Finn, I killed a boy that I loved for an alliance, for an alliance mind you that didn't even hold! I've killed so many, I've sacrificed _myself_ to get our people back, but I am just a reminder of those choices for them. I can't let them shoulder that pain, they deserve better than that."

A part of him knows that she is right, but he doesn't indulge in that part. She needs to realize that without her, their people wouldn't last. "Clarke all those months ago when I was the one leaving camp, you were the one who pulled me back. If you need to hear that your forgiven, you are, completely. I forgive you Clarke."

She shakes her head stepping away from him. "I don't deserve forgiveness" she rasps.

"Goddammit you're not getting it Clarke! I came back because of _you_ , you were the only reason I decided to continue to lead the kids. I knew Octavia would make it, she's strong but" his voice falters and he swallows before adding "you changed my mind... Why can't you see that... _I need you too_?" All the anger from his voice is gone. For a moment all they do is stare at each other, she begins to move toward him but stops. In the back of her mind she hears Lexa's voice, "head over heart" and turns away from him. "Take care of them, ok? ...and Bellamy...I'm sorry" she knows she's mouthing off what she wrote him, her voice growing distant.

He hears the flatness in her voice and feels helpless. He knows Clarke, hell he knows Clarke better than he knows himself and he knows that when her mind is made up, no one can change it. He knows he should say goodbye, or tell her he understands or _something,_ so she can remember him in the best way but he can't.

"Go then!" he barks. He sees as she flinches by his sudden outburst. He throws his hand towards the forest. "Go Clarke, be my guest. Leave, clearly there is nothing and no one left for you here."

She looks at him,her eyes pleading for him to understand. When she's only met with his glare,she nods curtly at him and turns her back toward him, she feels sick, like she will hurl at any moment as she slowly starts walking away from him.

He watches her get farther away from him, his heart breaking at each step. "Clarke!" he calls out. She stops but doesn't turn around. "Clarke please, don't-" his voice is rendered useless. He swallows and tries again to get his words out. "... _Stay_."

She hears the raw emotion in his voice, she hears the pain and her entire decision changes. One word from him and that's all it took to break her. She drops her bags and walks toward him, throwing her arms around his neck, and hugs him.

She hears a sigh escape from him, more like a sob really as he wraps his arms around her, not quite believing that she won't leave him. He tightens his hold on her not wanting to ever let go. He knows that Camp Jaha isn't the place for them, and he tells her so.

"Stay" he says to her, his voice muffled as he presses his face into her neck. "Stay and we'll figure it out. Stay and we'll do this right, _together_. Stay...for now. Because the next time you leave this camp, you won't be alone." His words echo through her and she believes him, she knows Bellamy, he always does right by his word...he always does right by _her_.

She pulls away and she nods. She needs him, not just to lead but to remind her that sometimes its ok to put your heart over your head. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sooo, whadaya think? Once again, written before finale aired


End file.
